Silsbee Family in New Zealand

Scott and I are both reading voraciously. I squeeze it out of my time in very small bites.  Our children now being ages nine and five make a world of difference in what I can manage compared to recent years when they needed constant supervision.

Not long ago I picked up Building Strong Families which was edited by Dennis Rainey for Crossway. I am finding I don’t necessarily prefer books with chapters written by multiple people. In this case, overlap of thought did not disturb the flow.

Since Scott and I were married 14 years ago, I have read numerous books on marriage and family, an effort which has certainly helped develop my own strong and healthy marriage. I always enjoy reading more, because growth is always possible. In this particular book, I believe I found and read what I consider to be the best possible presentation of the Biblically-ordained role differences between a man and a woman. Wayne Grudem’s chapter [2] entitled “Key Issues in the Manhood-Womanhood Controversy” addresses the paradox of equality and headship with a very helpful evaluation of common arguments, such as “mutual submission.” Grudem also includes a fascinating chart which compares how various modern philosophical thought structures on these issues compare to each other. The chart demonstrates how easily and totally the underlying philosophy, whether Biblical or flawed, permeates all aspects of life.

That chapter alone merits purchasing the book. Several of the chapters contain mentoring strategies which some people would label as "seeker sensitive."  My point in sharing my excitement over Chapter 2 does not, of course, indicate that Scott or I would endorse every thought in the book.  As always, read with discretion.  Another reader (A. Sutono) concurs, which I have discovered in the Amazon reader reviews of this book.  If you are struggling with questions on your role as a male or female, I can't currently recommend a better evaluation of the Biblical principles or synopsis of the thoughts you'll get from other books.

We don't intend to use this blog to brag incessantly about our kids...but God seems to have given them some talents to be developed.  They are learning to appreciate the arts in His creation.

Heidi is a budding artist.  She has natural talent.  We are excited about the possibility of a neighbour giving her private art lessons in exchange for Lori giving the neighbour's son piano lessons.  We are working on the details there.

Daniel shows promise of being a gifted musician.  He loves music.  It showed up when he was about nine months old.  In a furlough meeting where there was not an evening nursery, the man leading music on the platform was extremely distracted, and pleased, to see baby Daniel trying to conduct each and every hymn. Since the age of one, Daniel has enjoyed sitting at the piano and composing his own music. Mostly it is quite avant-garde, or could be classfiied as modern (hee, hee).  But, he doesn't bang like many children.  He listens, carefully, and attempts to make it beautiful.  One recent day we managed to grab a quick excerpt.  You'll be surprised.  Remember...he's only five!  Hear his composition, and see his self-defense on our video blog here.

In 2007 we experienced tremendous challenges of a spiritual nature through our church-planting ministry.  We finished the year feeling drained and seeking for strength in the Lord.  While reading Desiring God, Scott found the following testimony of George Muller.  We trust the following comments and excerpts will be an encouragement to you as well.

George Muller (1805-1898) is famous for establishing orphanages in England.  He was a man who joyfully depended on God for all his needs.  How did he kindle this joy and faith?  In 1841, he made a life-changing discovery.  I recommend that you read his autobiography.  His testimony has proved to be of tremendous value in my life and I pray that it will also bear fruit in yours.

“The point is this: I saw more clearly than ever, that the first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord.  The first thing to be concerned about was not, how much I might serve the Lord, how I might glorify the Lord; but how I might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man might be nourished.  For I might seek to set the truth before the unconverted, I might seek to benefit believers, might seek to relieve the distressed, I might in other ways seek to behave myself as it becomes a child of God in this world; and yet, not being happy in the Lord, and not being nourished and strengthened in my inner man day by day, all this might not be attended to in a right spirit.”

“Before this time my practice had been, at least for ten years previously, as an habitual thing, to give myself to prayer, after having dressed in the morning.  Now I saw, that the most important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the Word of God and to meditation on it, that thus my heart might be comforted, encouraged, warned, reproved, instructed; and that thus, while meditating, my heart might be brought into experimental, communion with the Lord.  I began therefore, to meditate on the New Testament, from the beginning, early in the morning.”

“The first thing I did, after having asked in a few words the Lord’s blessing upon His precious Word, was to begin to meditate on the Word of God; searching, as it were, into every verse, to get blessing out of it; not for the sake of the public ministry of the Word; not for the sake or preaching on what I had meditated upon; but for the sake of obtaining food for my own soul.  The result I have found to be almost invariably this, that after a very few minutes my soul has been led to confession, or to thanksgiving, or to intercession, or to supplication; so that though I did not, as it were, give myself to prayer, but to meditation, yet it turned almost immediately more or less into prayer….”

“The difference between my former practice and my present one is this.  Formerly, when I rose, I began to pray as soon as possible, and generally spent all my time till breakfast in prayer, or almost all the time.  At all quiet times, I almost invariably began with prayer…. But what was the result?  I often spent a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, or even an hour on my knees, before being conscious to myself of having derived comfort, encouragement, humbling of soul, etc; and often after having suffered much from wandering of mind for the first ten minutes, or a quarter of an hour, or even half an hour, I only then began really to pray.  I scarcely ever suffer now in this way.  For my heart being nourished by the truth, I speak to my Father, and to my Friend about the things He has brought before me in His precious Word.”

“The first thing the child of God has to do morning by morning is to obtain food for his inner man….  Now what is the food for the inner man: not prayer, but the Word of God.  Not the simple reading of the Word of God, so that it only passes through our minds, but considering what we read, pondering over it, and applying it to our hearts….”

Autobiography of George Muller, comp. Fred Bergen (London: J. Nisbet, 1906), 152-4, quoted in Desiring God, John Piper (Sisters, Oregon: Multnomah Publishers, 2003),

May you grow more conformed to the image of Christ this year.

Our official family holiday [vacation] is over.  In fact, it seemed to be over before it was actually over.  We have to backtrack first before that statement can be explained.

This was our first "family" holiday.  Granted, we have done much travel due to ministry requirements.  But, since having children, we had never gone away, as a family, specifically for a vacation, without taking along visiting extended family members, or going to meet extended family at their place, or another agreed upon location. 

We were remiss not to take a photo of the loaded van, complete with dog panting in the back.  We had to laugh before we even left our own driveway. In our early days of marriage we vowed never to purchase a mini-van, due to the well-known stereotype: missionary = mini-van.  Scott also vowed never to have a dog.  Oh, the things we say in our moments of pride.

Our holiday destination was determined, in part, by Daniel.  In October he again filled his marble jar.  Marbles are awarded for character commendations, and a full jar earns the jar owner an opportunity to pick a family activity.  Daniel asked for us to all spend a night in a caravan [camper]. (Remiss, again, with the camera, we forgot to take pictures of the caravan).  Daniel also suggested that we would not need to bring any food, since we could find all the food we need in the jungle.  Except, we needed to bring marshmallows for roasting.  We still haven't figured out where he gained these gems of knowledge.

For weather consideratons, we decided to wait until now to combine Daniel's reward with several other things various ones of us wanted to do: visit some friends in Kati Kati, take the kids to climb Mt. Maunganui, take the dog to the beach, and meet another missionary pastor in that same area of New Zealand.  We managed to do it all, but not without difficulty.  Hence, here is where the original statement begins to apply -- it seemed to be over before it was actually over.  A few significant events threatened to "ruin" our holiday.

On the second day of our holiday, Heidi exhibited flu-like symptoms, all day.  Suffice it to say, they weren't nice, at all, and quite extreme.  Staying in the caravan was out of the question for her, so she played a bit at the beach with Daniel, and then slept on the sand in her misery.  The next day she had to settle for browsing the town shops with Mummy while Daniel got to enjoy a planned water activity with Daddy.  By the end of the third day, Heidi was feeling much better.  But, late that evening and all the next day, Scott exhibited the same violent symptoms.  Demonstrating the same spirit which we had just seen in our daughter, Scott was not to be laid flat for long.  He managed to muster the strength to give a first-time go at piloting on the blokart track.

We did manage to visit the missionary pastor, and, in the time between Heidi's recovery from being sick and Scott coming down with it, we were able to attend the Wednesday mid-week service.  But even this event caused us difficulty.  On our way to church and heading out of the campground, our van picked up a large rock which, we later learned, lodged itself between the engine and the suspension system.  It caused the van to significantly tremble, or shutter, at odd times when we were driving.  We spent a portion of the next day visiting the Midas shop, trying to sort out this unplanned used of our holiday time and funds!  The best part of that whole problem was that Heidi decided to just sit in the van and read while we were waiting around.  She had an unexpected ride when the van was hoisted up the lift so the mechanic could look underneath.  Daniel was sorry he had decided to get out of the van and play ball.

To top off our misadventures, there were road works on the way home.  That wasn't a problem, but the posted sign was.  It said "Wet cement, wash vehicle today."  We were coming home in time to attend our own Thursday evening mid-week service.  Scott was already planning to stay home in his sickness misery, and I didn't care to try and squeeze in washing the van.  So, we stopped at an automatic car wash.  And the car wash knocked off the back window mirror (for reversing).  And then the car wash ran over the mirror and we could hear it crunch.  And then it ran over it again and we winced again.  And it ran over it one or two more times and each time we winced harder.  And Scott made some snide comment about it being a very expensive car wash.  We've been in a car wash two or three other times with this van.  Why this damage on this day?

We thought about all of these events which were graciously provided by our sovereign God.  We enjoyed our time together.  We enjoyed pretending we didn't have any responsibilities.  But God gave us many opportunities to be reminded that our happiness doesn't come from a holiday.  It doesn't come from good health.  It doesn't come from a problem-free automobile.  We, and our children, were blessed to remember that our source of joy is God Himself and His unchanging attributes.  And we can enJOY those attributes even in the midst of our overwhelming responsibilities, challenges, and disappointments, at any time and anywhere.

More photos are posted in the album 2008 Family Holiday.

This is a true account.  Names have not been changed to protect the guilty. 

The Circumstances

We have a schedule.  Each Monday evening we play a game as a family.  Scott's brother gave us "Worst Case Scenario" in which you guess the best option for escaping random unlikely events.  Our kids love it, and we have played it a fair bit recently.  Friday mornings we have cooked breakfast.  Lori would never bother to cook breakfast, herself preferring (its an addiction, really) an easy bowl of homemade muesli {granola}.  The rest of the family love to eat (not prepare or clean up) cooked breakfast.  Friday morning is a compromise.

The Catastrophe

Wouldn't life be great if our worst case scenario was only bad pancakes?

Is the problem here my parenting style?  Probably. 
Is the problem here my kids' lack of sense?  Probably. 
Is this normal?

10. We joined Facebook.

9.  I've been resolved to devote the necessary time to the housekeeping, gardening, ironing and mending.

8.  I'm catching up on emails.

7.  Church administration and discipleship needs have increased.

6.  We made a new, elaborate, hourly family schedule to help balance family, ministry and schooling needs.  The blog didn't get put on the schedule and hasn't rated high enough to bump the schedule.

5.  I'm now teaching a ladies Bible study.

4.  We've said "yes" to the kids more often.

3.  Revelations about my physical health, and efforts to avoid needing surgery, have required some fitness changes...meaning that staying up for blogging between 11p and 12a is not allowed.

2.  Does anyone read this blog?

1.  We've been training the puppy.